‘I’m doing a PhD and two jobs but my partner expects me to do all the chores’

When it comes to relationships, it’s all about give and take and you can’t expect to keep on taking from your partner without there being any consequences.

But it seems one man might have missed the memo about this.

The unnamed 36-year-old has caused a stir on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum after claiming that he “doesn’t have time” to help around the house as his girlfriend would like.

He explains in the post how he works part-time during the day to noon and then goes on to do two community college classes after work, until 4pm by which point he is “exhausted”.

Meanwhile, he says his girlfriend is currently studying for a PhD, working part-time as a research assistant and also working another job.

However, because she does all of this work from home, he believes she has the “spare time” to do chores.

His post read: “AITA for telling my girlfriend I don’t have time for chores?

“So I was in the army for several years. After I got out, I started community college to become an engineer. I’m currently working part-time at a job that requires physical work and when I come home at noon, I do my two classes until 4ish.

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“They both meet every day for an hour and are pre-recorded videos since I can’t attend classes during the day. It usually takes me longer to get through each video since I also take notes.

“Afterwards, I mainly do my homework because we have a ton of homework.

“I’m always exhausted at the end of the day because of my job and the fact that I go to school.”

He continues to say: “Here’s the thing: engineering classes are hard. Like, really hard. Calculus and s**t. I don’t have time to cook and clean around the apartment.

“My girlfriend on the other hand works from home. She’s a full-time PhD student, works part-time as a research assistant, and is working full time, but she does all of this from home.

“She has time on her hands, yet she keeps insisting on me helping her cook and clean around our apartment.

“I tell her I don’t have time and that I don’t care for her to cook for me all the time. Just focus on herself. I can find my own food. But now she’s upset because she feels like she puts in all the efforts in this relationship and apartment to make it ‘home’ for us.

“AITA for telling her I don’t have time for chores? I feel like her workload isn’t as exhausting as mine and it’s only fair that I focus more on my classwork, since I feel like I am behind because of my age. Meanwhile, she’s already well into her career but is getting this PhD when she already has a good enough paying job. So AITA?”

Hundreds of people responded to the post, with many branding the man an a**hole.

A screenshot of the Reddit post also made its way onto Twitter, where it went viral, garnering many more replies.

One person said: “YTA Get over yourself. How’d you survive in the military with this whiny ‘I have it the WORST!’ Attitude?

“She’s getting her PhD, works both full and part-time but you have a part-time job and community college classes and can’t be bothered to be an adult? You’re doing not even close to what she does.”

Another wrote: “It must be a huge apartment they have, because otherwise I don’t know where he’s keeping all that audacity.”

A third commented: “How in the world is her workload not as exhausting as yours!? Even if you come to an agreement on food (during really busy times, sometimes you just gotta eat takeout), you have to pull your own weight as a human being and at least clean and do the other chores around the house.”